Monday, November 26, 2012

Its Trash

I love computers...and because I do I take care of them, especially my own. I never close the cover without shutting my computer totally off. I store it neatly on a desk with a cushioned blotter to protect it from scratching. Once a week, I clean the screen, keyboard and exterior, not just with any cloth, but with a piece of fabric specifically designed to clean computers. I tell you these things in hopes you will excuse the brief moment of insanity I describe below.

Last Friday (yes, Black Friday) of all days I decided I would surf the Internet a briefly before lunch. I took my laptop from its cushioned resting place and fired it up. Ah, I find such delight in a computer that puts the world at my finger-tips. I gently pressed the power button and I noticed my baby seemed to boot a little slower than usual...No big deal. I mentally joked, I'll bet my baby is suffering from day after Thanksgiving sluggishness like the rest of us. LOL.

I clicked on Firefox, my preferred browser...hmmmm, google seems to be coming up pretty slow. Ah, there it is.

I clicked my bookmarks and selected The hourglass popped up and nothing happened. I waited and waited and I waited. Finally I got a message..."can not access website".  Maybe there's something wrong with wiped a speck of dust off my computer's keyboard...yes, nice and clean now. I'll try another website. Again, I got an hourglass...just spinning, spinning.

I began to get a little nervous...There can't be anything wrong, I take care of my computer.
Another website, another hourglass...spinning.
There is no way, MY computer could have a virus. No way.
Another website, another hourglass...spinning
Maybe, just maybe there IS something wrong

OK, I've got to try something. I'll restore my computer to an earlier date...some time from last week. Even if the remote possibility is true and it did pick up a virus, I'll  restore the computer to before the infection and things will be back to normal and my baby will be OK.

Control Panel...System Restore...Restore to November 15. Yes, yes, restore my computer to November 15. That will make it all better again. 

Unfortunately, my plan didn't work. Just as System Restore was about to begin I got a horrifying message... "Your hard drive is corrupt.  The system can not restore".

What do I do now?, I thought.

I pulled the battery out and unplugged the electrical power. Please, please reset...I promise, I'll clean my computer after every use and buy an expensive case to store it in. I powered it back up...this time I got a gray screen with another error message..."You have a corrupt hard drive press F1 to continue".

I pressed F1 nothing happened, absolutely nothing. Not even a beep.

My forehead was getting warn and my blood was beginning to boil. I turned the power off again, same message.
Again...same message.
Again...same message.

In a flash, the love I felt for my computer turned to disgust. I turned my head and looked askew at my dead computer. It's nothing but a piece of trash, I thought. I picked it up and held it with both hands and looked at it...For three years I babied you....cleaned your screen and cover. I regularly defragmented your hard drive, backed up files, expanded your memory...and now you turn on me and of all days, Black Friday.

Violent thoughts went through my head. I looked at the heap of useless plastic in my hands. A little demon perched on my shoulder whispered in my ear...Go ahead Tony, drop it. Drop it on the floor. What difference does it make, its dead anyway. Drop it, Tony. Do it.

Temporarily overwhelmed with hatred I lifted the piece of junk over my head. My mind was racing. Tony, was my wife, What are you doing? Put that thing down. I hesitated and looked at her...but its broken I said, it crashed. Its dead. I'm going to...
,Not you're not...I guess you'll have to buy another one..things break, she said, no big deal.

Sanity returned...yes, yes, I guess you're right, I muttered and placed the computer back on its cushioned, blotter-seat.

Come on she said...Let's go now. It I'll be fun, we can go shopping on Black Friday.
Fun, yeah, I said Real fun. Shopping, Black Friday...Yeah fun"


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